feeling??????

So I was watching the biggest loser episode from last week today and I love that show because it does get me to think about my weight and why on earth do i still keep the weight on me.  Honestly I know exactly what i need to do to lose weight but for some reason i just can't do it. I have a problem with staying focused on any one thing.  I will do good for a few days and possibly a few weeks but then it goes away.  Its not just with weight its with being organized, cleaning, and pretty much anything.  I am sure in someway it all ties into each other.  But such as this blog I will write for a bit but then stop.  My goal is to be organized, cleaner (i am talking like my house not me personally), financially better and for me to healthier....actually i am pretty healthy except for my weight.  For being as "morbidly" obese as I am I am surprisingly healthy. I do not have high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesteral or any real health problems....except I do have SEVER sleep apnea which I would like to get rid of.

 I am very proud of myself though for continuing with school.  I started that last January and still going strong.  I think that has a lot to do with my need to make more money and also I have some great people that I go to school with that make it so much fun.  I guess just one step at a time.  I am doing the school thing but now I need to take the leap and do the weight thing.  I think my first step will be to do a little bit more moving.  I am for the most part a good eater...meaning i do love healthy food and i do not eat like someone my size would normally eat.  I see the people on the biggest loser and see the mass quanities that they eat on an average day and I am sitting there thinking I really don't eat that way.  I know that I have a problem with not eating for a long period of time then eating which i know is very bad for my metabolism.  So my first goal that I am going to create for myself is to move more. The way I will do this is I will move my arms while watching tv, i will move my feet and legs while at the computer or at my desk at work, i will work my stomach muscles while driving in the car or sitting down.  so this seems to be pretty easy but any amount of movement that is more than what i do now is good.  I will try this for a week and see how it goes. 
Plus Size Madam
PS For the record I am not striving to be skinny.  I know that this is not a possibility and I am ok with that. I just want to be about 150+ lighter than I am now.