update

I haven't written about my babysteps in a bit.  but i have been able to do my one song a day most days and on the days i didn't i have been dancing in my seat while driving or doing some extra leg bends at work. I do need to step it up this week though it is time to get serious.  I think one of the biggest problems i have and maybe a lot of people my weight have is that the end road seems so far away that you can't really even picture it.  It has been so long since i have been a "normal" weight I don't remember how it feels. Yesterday i found myself looking at some girls legs as she walked and i noticed that her thighs didn't touch AT ALL and I thought to myself can i even remeber a time when my legs didn't rub together.  I have been overweight like 90% of my life.  But here is another problem to is when i think of myself I don't feel like I am an overweight person.  It is only when really look in the mirror that i am like oh yeah i am "OBESE".  Of course there are other times when I realized that i now have a foot problem that is caused both by bad shoes and being overweight.  so everytime my foot acts up which is like everyday now . get reminded of my size.  But on the inside I don't feel like a heavy person. I just feel like a person. So when I am on a "diet" i feel like I am not normal and i need to realize that really I am not "normal".  I am not your standard size overweight person.  And that is hard to come to terms with but I am the one that put myself there and that is even more of a pill to swallow.  I can remeber when I was younger hoping that when I woke up in the morning I would magically be skinny and that is what I want now is to go to sleep and wake up and be a normal size.  I don't want to do the work.  I want it to just happen.  Ok so that is the lazy part of me.  I know that I..ME and ME alone is the only person that can make my dream of being smaller come true.  So again the babysteps come into play.  Babysteps Babysteps that is the only way I can make this come true.  i know that i will take a few steps back on my journey but hopefully they will not be leaps back.