Change has finally happened

So its been a long time since I have posted on here.  I checked my last post and I talked about how I needed to change myself physically.  I can honestly say that change has happened.  I have lost about 72lbs.  Which is huge.  I have a lot more to go but I can say that I have actually did something that I set out to do.  As a bigger person I had always been proud of the fact that my blood work and my blood pressure was really good.  In fact I use to shock medical professionals because of this.  Most people of my size suffer from many health ailments.  I felt like I had some how beat the "system". But about 2-3 years ago some of my blood work started to go in the not so good direction and it scared me.  My triglycerides were off the chart.  So I knew that I really had to do something.  I knew that having them high put me at greater risk for stroke and heart disease.  Plus about this time I started to have a lot of female issues that I had not had before.  So I said ok this is it.  I am not beating the "system" anymore.

So thanks to the Scentsy Wellnes program I was able to really push through some blocks.  I will also admit that I did take a weight loss pill that was prescribed.  And admittedly it helped but not in the way it was suppose to help.  This pill just helped me stay focused.  It didn't curb my appetite like it was supposed to but in fact made me hungrier.  Sounds like that would be a bad thing but in my case it was quite the opposite.  See I am not your typical obese person.  I don't sit around eating bags of potato chips and cookies till I can't walk anymore.  I don't constantly think of food.  I don't have an addiction to food.  My biggest problem is not eating when I am supposed to. I wouldn't eat breakfast and then wait till like 2 or so to eat.  Then I would eat dinner around 8.  By doing this I was causing so many problems for my weight.  So the medication helped me keep focused on eating when I was supposed to and focused on being prepared.  I don't take that medication anymore because of the side effects I had mixed with the birth control pills I am on for my female problems.  And I am happy to report that I am still losing weight without it.

One of my biggest problems is I do sabotage my self for some reason I am still trying to figure out.  I will go out of the house without having my snacks or lunch packed.  Or I will leave without my water bottle. Or that I don't take my fish oil (really good for inflammation I use it to help with my tendonitis) or my Vitamin D (I was extremely deficient a few months ago but now am back to normal).   I will say to myself as I am leaving "I know I should really do these things....but I just don't feel like it."  On those days I do regret doing that.  Because then I feel crappy the rest of the day.  When I do what I am supposed to do with my eating I feel so much better.  Also when I get enough water in the day I feel great.

I am still very much in the process of trying to figure myself out.  I know I have stored a lot of feelings and hurt inside myself and that is the real reason I am overweight.  Once I can let go of all that and let my true voice speak I will be free and I will be healthy inside and out.  Its going to take time but at least I am on the right path.